Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I need help (in so many way)

First of all WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!!  I am not usually a real typical girl and have alot of tomboy issues lol  For the last couple days everything has been making me cry.  While reading alot of the blogs here I will be sitting here crying so hard I think the keyboards going to short out.  I read one tonight about a reached NSV of no longer over eating and I balled like a newborn.  No there is nothng sad going on in my life really everything is going well.  I sat and listened to music tonight and started crying again.  I think they took the band off my emotions and put it on my tummy. 

I have come to the conclusin that it has to be my horomones really out of whack.  As most of you who have been reading a while know I have issues talking about girly issues but I feel pretty comfortable here so here I go (sorry guys)  A week before surgery I started the girly time and IT HASNT STOPPED!  Tomorrow will be 2 weeks out.  That is 3 weeks!!  Did anyone else have this problem?  Is it because of losing weight?  Oh god and I think I will just melt into the floor if I have to ask my male doc this question!  I can barely talk to him without freaking out now and I am not sure why.  But to actually have to ask about this is going to kill me.  So I am really hoping you guys may have an answer.

I am an awful cook due to the fact I have always microwaved or gone for fast food.  Only months before surgery did I start using an oven.  I mess up alot but you have to mess up to learn.  Tonight I am going to try to cook Lemon Garlic Talapia.  Heres to hoping this turns out well!  If not I will just have to keep trying till I figure out this cooking thing.

As of tomorrow I am going to soft foods and not sure if I will change much of what I eat.  I am going to try this fish thing and that is my first time eating something more then taters and baby food.  Hope it goes well considering I am sooooo not used to this band thing.  I have never felt what full feels like so I am never sure what I am feeling.  I know when I take my vitamin or eat more solid foods it feels like I ate a brick. Maybe that is what full feels like but I just dont know.  I hope me and my body get more in sync soon so I know what the heck it is doing.

You know that stupid scale I was yelling about giving me the 305 the other day.  Well it apologized with a 298 today.  I dont know what that weird fluke was but it apologized and of course I accepted.  I have a feeling I am going to move this love/hate relationship with food and put it on my scale.  (I think my scale just rolled its eyes at me)  But I am dffinatly going to try cutting back on scale whoring.  I told my mom I weigh myself like 4 or more times a day and I thought her head was going to explode.  She told me I will just get myself down when I see it go up all day.  So maybe she is right (she is my perfect mother after all) so I am going through some scale withdrawl already.  I have only weighed 2 times today because I gave in but no more!

Thank you all so much for making me feel better in my last post.  You just dont know how happy all the comments make me feel.  I am not sure how you guys stay so positive all the time but thats what I want to do.  I want to try to be positive and happy.  I have never cared about myself.  I am changing alot of things in my life and trying to care more.  Those who read the facts about me I put up may have more insight as to why I have had a problem.  But I now know I deserve more.  I deserve to love me even if no one else wanted to.  I am blessed to have so many great people in my life and now you guys!  Reading your blogs and comments help me figure out myself and my body.  THANK YOU! 

P.S.  How in the world do I put the blogger award thing on the right side of my page?  I think it is pretty and I was told I could have it lol  If someone could let me in on the info id appreciate it ;)


  1. I wish I could offer you more in the way of food ideas. I'm sure some of the more experienced banders wil give you advice on that. Do you have any support groups around you? Our Sisters here are great, but sometimes it's good to have someone to talk to in person. As far as the crying, your body has been through a lot so, like you said, I'm sure hormones are the cause. Personally, I cry at everything so I think this type of behavior is normal. I have no idea about why your friend won't leave town. Again, hopefully someone who's had the surgery can help. Are there any females in your doctor's office that you can talk to and have them pass on your question? Congrats on the weight loss.

  2. Hi there!

    First off - I don't think it's good that your period has lasted so long - no wonder you're crying at the drop of a hat!! Your hormones must be all out of whack!! How about going to a female doctor? You will feel better if you can get some answers - and TRUST me they have to deal with far more embarrassing things.

    Secondly - I'm not a great cook either. Have you ever used a crock pot? I found this blog which has the easiest recipes ( They are also good as the meat in crockpots comes out VERY tender :-)

    Hope this helps - take care of yourself :-)

  3. Well, I am sure that you have already gone and eaten the fish by now...but tilapia is one of the nicest fish to cook...its a lil hard to screw up! me...I know. I never really HAD to cook...always went out...or ate what my mom 'made' and then when I met my hubby...he cooks...well..since this whole Army thing...I have had to learn! LOL. Have not cooked since the band...but I am looking forward to using my crock-pot (which is BRAND new...never used) next week! LOL

    As for your lady issues, try seeing if you can call the office...and speak to a nurse...then the nurse will ask the Dr dude and get back to you...unless you can change to a lady doctor. I, strangely enough, have no issue with male lady station doctors...hmm...I'm odd.

    You put the blogger award thing on the side of your page the same way you stuck the other things up there: the comments make me happy and queen of random things...add a 'gadget' and put the picture up have 2 save it to your hard drive first I think...hope I helped? a bit...


  4. the picture things on the side were predone html because I am not good at html

    And the fish turned out AMAZING! I will post a pic tomorrow I was so proud!

  5. Hi there,

    Just a few things to think about with the lady issues... are you on the contraceptive pill? I wonder if its absorbing properly... It's very odd that its gone on so long. The other option is see a female GP, if you dont want to talk to your male Doctor.. Hope things settle for you!
    K xx

  6. I'm so sorry about your three week ordeal!! That's TOO long, I'd be a mess by now!! I don't think it's the surgery, though. I was on the pill thru the whole thing, b/c I get cysts if I'm not on it. Maybe you could call the nurse, and have her ask if they could start you on the pill to even things out. It helps me!! Hang in there!!

  7. Okay, male perspective on its way.

    Although this male actually enjoys a good cry. I do get a little teary eyed when reading blogs at times. But I do have to say, I love crying at the end of a good movie, something about the resolution of a confict balls me up. So what I mean to say is, if I can suggest, don't fight it - embrace it. Spend a night with the most dramatic movies of all time and get it out of your system. You'll wake up teh next morning renewed.

    Good luck, stay strong.

  8. Hormones yeah maybe.. but don't forget you are in a major transition phase... and you are trying to figure this all out (we all go through this) and you are (or reaching out) to make the connection.. Blogs are a window into each of our life.. so it's keeping it real (and usually not scripted).. so have fun with this transformation, the cooking everything.. this is no right or wrong answer to the approach.. what ever works for you.. and BTW a good cry is healthy (it shows you are normal)

  9. To post a picture, go into the Dashboard and then Layout. You should see add gadget-Pick the Picture gadget. Find the BB award you saved and add it. Waiting for it to appear!

    And so happy about the weightloss. Woo Hoo!

  10. OK-
    -TOM- I'f heard on other sites that a very long/heavy period is VERY common after surgery.
    -I've also heard that depression is most likely right after surgery (maybe it's Bandster Hell) and something we all need to watch for.
    -Personally I try to have at least one cry a day (it's usually a TV show or even a commercial for me...ask my kids, they think it's hysterical)...I also get in at least one full out belly laugh a day...emotions are good to get out.
    -Pic- Copy and save to you're computer as a 'jpeg' file (when you name it, under that there will be choices), then you can do the above.
    -I limit my weighing to first thing in the morning...I can get on and off as many times as I want in a row, but then I'm done for the day.
    -Start LOOKING for things to celebrate along this journey and it will help keep it positive...set mini goals, take pics, take measurements, etc.

  11. I totally think the crying thing is hormonal! 3wks I'd probably have to kick something!!

    A blog that I love for cooking is She has some really good step by step pictures. Also get yourself a crockpot! They can be really cheap at Wally world and it cooks for you!!

  12. I agree that you need to tell your doc about the three week period. That is not normal.

    Congrats on the weight loss!

  13. The way that I put my Blogger Award pic up (before I took it down), was to Highlight the pic, then right click and save it.

    Then go into your Dashboard and Customize, under Page Elements, click on Add a Gadget, then select Text. In the main body (Don't put anything in the Title section), click and select Paste.

    The picture should show up, then save, etc.... Then go to your home page to see if it took. Mine did, this way I didn't have to save to the hard drive.

    I also think that you should see a Doctor about the 3 wks of bleeding. If you are that uncomfortable telling your male Doctor, then see a female OBGYN.

  14. Robin, the 3 week visit from Aunt FLOW is probably not only causing the emotional episodes, but also the weigh yo-yo'ing. Hormones & water weight changes that always occur with your monthly. Ugh.
    If you can't speak with your family doc or your surgeon about these things, then please go see a woman gynecologist (probably best anyhow).
    I'm not banded yet, so I have no idea if it's common, but it doesn't sound normal to me. Not trying to scare you... just being honest & looking out! :)

    Keep up the Beautiful Blogging, girl!

    Robin at Band on the Run

    P.S. I cry at the drop of a hat EVERYDAY!