First of all WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!! I am not usually a real typical girl and have alot of tomboy issues lol For the last couple days everything has been making me cry. While reading alot of the blogs here I will be sitting here crying so hard I think the keyboards going to short out. I read one tonight about a reached NSV of no longer over eating and I balled like a newborn. No there is nothng sad going on in my life really everything is going well. I sat and listened to music tonight and started crying again. I think they took the band off my emotions and put it on my tummy.
I have come to the conclusin that it has to be my horomones really out of whack. As most of you who have been reading a while know I have issues talking about girly issues but I feel pretty comfortable here so here I go (sorry guys) A week before surgery I started the girly time and IT HASNT STOPPED! Tomorrow will be 2 weeks out. That is 3 weeks!! Did anyone else have this problem? Is it because of losing weight? Oh god and I think I will just melt into the floor if I have to ask my male doc this question! I can barely talk to him without freaking out now and I am not sure why. But to actually have to ask about this is going to kill me. So I am really hoping you guys may have an answer.
I am an awful cook due to the fact I have always microwaved or gone for fast food. Only months before surgery did I start using an oven. I mess up alot but you have to mess up to learn. Tonight I am going to try to cook Lemon Garlic Talapia. Heres to hoping this turns out well! If not I will just have to keep trying till I figure out this cooking thing.
As of tomorrow I am going to soft foods and not sure if I will change much of what I eat. I am going to try this fish thing and that is my first time eating something more then taters and baby food. Hope it goes well considering I am sooooo not used to this band thing. I have never felt what full feels like so I am never sure what I am feeling. I know when I take my vitamin or eat more solid foods it feels like I ate a brick. Maybe that is what full feels like but I just dont know. I hope me and my body get more in sync soon so I know what the heck it is doing.
**GOOD NEWS WARNING**
You know that stupid scale I was yelling about giving me the 305 the other day. Well it apologized with a 298 today. I dont know what that weird fluke was but it apologized and of course I accepted. I have a feeling I am going to move this love/hate relationship with food and put it on my scale. (I think my scale just rolled its eyes at me) But I am dffinatly going to try cutting back on scale whoring. I told my mom I weigh myself like 4 or more times a day and I thought her head was going to explode. She told me I will just get myself down when I see it go up all day. So maybe she is right (she is my perfect mother after all) so I am going through some scale withdrawl already. I have only weighed 2 times today because I gave in but no more!
Thank you all so much for making me feel better in my last post. You just dont know how happy all the comments make me feel. I am not sure how you guys stay so positive all the time but thats what I want to do. I want to try to be positive and happy. I have never cared about myself. I am changing alot of things in my life and trying to care more. Those who read the facts about me I put up may have more insight as to why I have had a problem. But I now know I deserve more. I deserve to love me even if no one else wanted to. I am blessed to have so many great people in my life and now you guys! Reading your blogs and comments help me figure out myself and my body. THANK YOU!
P.S. How in the world do I put the blogger award thing on the right side of my page? I think it is pretty and I was told I could have it lol If someone could let me in on the info id appreciate it ;)