Saturday, April 10, 2010
Why is it in the light of day I am little Mrs Perfect Bander but as soon as the sun falls I turn into a Food Vampire? I mean I stalk my prey in the kitchen then suck the life out of it. I really wish I could rip that sweet tooth out with a pair of pliers! UGH! During the day I am not hungry and usually eat just what my tummy can handle (fish, cheese, other good for ya stuff) But when the sun goes down that vampire in me comes out. I want anything sweet. I try to fill the craving with a sugar free fudgepop but lately I have been craving Ice cream from sonic so bad. I got one taste and it was over now I am always wanting it. BAD ROBIN! *smacks my nose with a newspaper* I know its bad but sometimes I just want to forget excercise, food, and weight. I just want to sit down and eat food like I used to. Be able to eat without any pain or sliming!!
I seem to forget often that I am banded. I went to go get some fast food (ya I know another newspaper smack) I got a regular meal with no large size upgrade. I took like 10 fries at the most and 4 nuggets and I had to put the nuggets away and hand over the fries to the BF. So I have learned a little more that fast food is just a waste of my money (and calories) From now on if I get anything fast food it will be a childs meal! Plus my godchildren always love a new toy :) When we order from my fav chinese resturant (Happiness Resturant ROX!) It takes me ALL day to eat what I would have in 20 minutes preband. That is a real feeling of accomplishment. Plus the BF is getting results from my weight loss. He is sweet and tries to stretch out his eating with me so I am not sitting alone eating way after hes done. Plus he exercises on the Wii and we are both getting healthier. He has lost weight and isnt eating as much as before because he doesnt want to eat bad things in front of me. Plus my mom and some of the ladies from the needline have went on diets too. It freaks me out when they ask me for advice lol I am like really? No one ever has looked at me and asked for health secrets. I try to help as much as possible and try to share the things the nutritionists taught me. But it just seems weird to be an inspiration to people. I have ALWAYS been the poster girl for WHAT NOT TO DO!
I have noticed alot lately that I must be losing weight in my mouth area because I am speaking my mind more. As an uber fat girl I never wanted to say anything to people because I needed all the people I could get. I was afraid if my balls dropped and I spoke my mind that everyone would just turn around and leave and Id be all alone. Thats not true at all. It has shocked some people but I am going to continue dangling my new found balls all over the place. I even smacked the BF in the face with them the other day. (ok that mental picture was FUNNY) I have just found I can ask for what I want and the world will not collapse in around me. YAY!! I plan to practice this some more. Excuse me while I hula hoop just to watch my balls dangle ;) (wow i think i am falling in love with balls LOL)
I bought a new spring shirt from walmart just to make me feel pretty. IT WORKED! I wore it and my little black skirt with my rainbow sandels. I put on my sunglasses to pull my hair back and a little eyeliner. I looked at myself and thought damn girl you are looking good. I also had a shock moment at my friends house. She bought me a swim suit in a smaller size so I have something to work for this spring to get into. The bottoms arent going to work at all. My fat roll hangs out the side of it and SO NOT ATTRACTIVE TO ANYONE! (it IS a 2 piece) Never thought I would wear anything but shorts and a tshirt lol. The top looked amazing (minus the ten tons of arm blubber that I cant stand) I looked in the mirror and froze...was that really me? WOW I had a "you go girl" moment with myself. I cant wait to have more moments like that. I cant wait to walk into a store and shop around :) I have always had a shopping fear because nothing ever fit. Now I am finding things in a real store that fit and make me feel good WOOT!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Things have been going so good lately I have found myself not even sitting at the computer to write. My weight loss is stuck but I am ok with that :) Cant complain about being stuck in the 280s lol I guess I think if I complain about it I will wake up weighing 400 pounds again. So no complaints lol This band thing and coming to terms with being under 300 is alot to handle sometimes. I still see myself as that girl I was. But my banded tummy knows better.
I just have to say that the band is CRAZY. Every day is a new adventure. I am never sure what Ill be able to eat from day to day. I can eat someone out of house and home somedays and others it is a baby food day. So how do you know you are at your sweet spot? I mean somedays Id say yes Im there and then other days id say throw 5 more ccs in there doc. Lately Ive been doing pretty good with the eating. Other people can really see the difference in my eating. Like easter dinner at my moms. Me and my brother would race to see how many plates we could get down before we collapse into a food coma (he is like 160...butthead) This time I filled the plate like I always do and ate like 2 bites of everything and was done. I can no longer eat some of my favorite dishes which made me a little sad but its ok. My mom makes french onion rice thats to die for. I couldnt get that down, couldnt get ham down very easy, and the beans were a very bad idea. But the brownie unfortunatly went down with ease ;) But the family did work off the food by playing hours of wii. We all left very sore and tired lol.
I have been getting to spend extra time with my sweetie lately which has been AWESOME! I am so lucky to have such a wonderful man. He will drive from a county away just because I am having a swiss cheese craving :) My brother and his girlfriend and me and mitchell are all going out to the lakes for a hike this coming weekend. I am looking forward to that. Time with my brother, my sweetie, the sunshine, and my camera :D I am blessed that is for sure.
I miss you guys like mad! I often think in my head "wonder how carmen and amanda are" or "wonder how draz's whootananny is doing" lol ok not really the last one (ok maybe once lol) but I often think of you guys. I hope everything is going great for all of my blog buddies out there. Hope the scales are treating you all right. Now that the sun is back I see us all shedding pounds like crazy :) I hope every single one of you get on the scale tomorrow and see at least 2 down :) BAM MAGIC DONE! *big hugs*
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Wow thanks to TOM I havent been able to eat very much at all for the last week. So I hopped on the scale today and got 289!!!!!! WOOT WOOT WOOT!! Now that it has officially started I cant stop eating. Last night before bed I ate a sugar free fudge pop, sugar free pudding, and a bowl of rice crispies. UGH That was all after dinner. Between stress and TOM my body doesnt know what in the world to do. I got my car fixed today YAY! So that is a little less stress right there.
I went for a drive in the country today just my camera and I. I found this AWESOME old cemetery (told you I was attracted to the darker things in life *wink*) I got out of my car and went for a walk. There were beautiful march flowers everywhere, the birds were chirping, sun was shining, and the ground was just moist enough to sink a little when you walk. I enjoyed it so much that I broke the law and went trespassing in their woods :) It was so beautiful back there it felt like I found a secret treasure! I also found an animals skeleton (guessing a deer) And I got all the pics I could of it. It was awesome cause it was death surrounded in life. So i got exercise..not just my camera finger but a hike in the woods lol I ave found if I make exercise something fun and productive I want to do it ALOT more. Yesterday my best friend and I went for a walk and had girl talk. We walked a long way but it didnt seem like it because girl talk makes everything else vanish.
Now for a question....What do you do when you get stuck?? I had one person tell me to take a drink and it will wash it on down. Ok this does not work for me at all. I cant have any kind of liquid while solids are in my stomach. It just makes everything get stuck worse. Like even if I am eating some watery green beans with food it will make everything stuck. They told me I shouldnt drink with meals but I am a rule breaker and tried anyways. Bad idea. I have found that burping myself from the front works a little. Cant do that in public of course. I just use the same pressure as burping a baby but right on my sternum. But what do I do in public because it hurts so bad. It happened at my fav Thai resturant and my friend said I looked horrible while it was going on. I get stuck alot and any advice is very appreciated. How is it I can have a bite I know is smaller then the stoma and chew and it still get stuck? I just dont understand this band sometimes!!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
1. If you could be a weather forecast, what would you be and why?
I would be a beautiful spring day in the 70's. Blue skies with the birds chirping. Sunshine making everything so bright. Those are the days I most love to go take pictures. So that is what Id be :D
2. If you could be a crayon, what color would you be and why?
I would be midnight blue! I am a bit of a dark person. I have always gravitated towards the darker aspects of life. But I can also make the stars in the sky pop out and look beautiful. Which to me means I can take a picture of something very normal and bring out the beauty from my eyes to share it with others who might not see it. (I am sure the more I write the more you guys are going to see me as a creepy cat lady LOL just to let u know I have no cats) These questions make me fel special cause I am not that great at answering things but im trying ;)
3. What is/was your biggest physical goal you want to do when you hit your goal weight?
Me and the bf are already making alot of plans lol I really want to go to an amusement park. I have always been too fat to go on rides or walk through a big park and stand in long lines. But I want to real bad. I want to go on a roller coaster that goes really fast :) I have a million and one things I want to do. But Ill save that million for a blog sometime ;)
4. If you could be any animal, what would it be and why?
I would want to be my namesake. I have always wished I was a bird so I could travel for free. They see so much beauty. I am in an arguement with a local bird right now because they are making a nest on top of my mailbox. My mailbox gets lifted everyday so they cant have babies there. But they are sooo beautiful. And Id LOVEEEEEE getting tto migrate for the winter lol
5. Just because I’m new to some followers and I’m curious – let’s do a put it out there in black and white stat question.
What was your highest weight? 397
What is your weight now? 293
What is your goal weight if you have one? 170
What is your goal size if you have one? have no idea about small sizes lol
What diet/program/tool do you follow/have if any? I dont diet I liveit.
How did you lose the weight current to today? alot of work and tweaking what and how much I eat. Diabeties made me do it lol
6. What’s your best advice for people in this weight loss journey?
Dont beat yourself up!!!!!!!!!!!! No matter what you do in life you will make mistakes. Learn to forgive yourself and move on. If you fall off the band wagon you just have to stop and forgive yourself. My next step is to halt down the band wagon and beat it with a baseball bat and hop back on. Slow and steady wins the race my friends ;)
7. Have you ever shaved your whootananny?
YES IM ANSWERING IT! Why yes I do makes me feel sexier ;) Cant wait till I am smaller so it makes the whole process easier lol
Ok so I am late but there ya go! Sorry I have been so bad about keeping up lately but I have crazy stuff going on. I broke a belt in my tire by driving into a ditch at a friends house. I also have stuff going on in my relationship, friends having issues, and trying to get this freakin house cleaned. Please dont forget me! You have all been on my mind :) *HUGS*
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wow it has been a bit since I posted and I have missed some blog reading. I tried to stay caught up but I have a bad case of spring cleaning. So HOW??? can my house look worse now?? I cleaned out closets and stuff so I have crap all over the room. I am trying to get motivated today to finish but ugh starting out real slow today. It is a little past noon and I have nothing accomplished. But Im sure it will kick in soon *hoping*
I was very naughty on St Pattys Day (or as my friend calls it Vermins Day)! I drank whiskey and celebrated irish style. We were drinking irish whisky and singing pub music loud and obnoxious. Yes this did show up on the scale. But heck it was worth it. It was so nice to sit around and not pay attention to anything else but having fun. I was decked in my "if found return to pub" shirt, decked with shamrock beads, looking hot in my new jeans (which I got compliments on), and hair in piggy poofs. I was in the mood for an adventure. Lets just say I ended up having 6 shots (really 3 because I was taking it easy and using a tiny shot glass) NAUGHTY! First shot was had by everyone in the bathroom so I was very close to a toilet in case of mishap. How good are your friends when they all pile into a bathroom with you knowing it may be a messy adventure. But all was good :) I used to sit and drink a whole bottle by myself. Let me just say those shots made me very loopy lol. It has been a while since those days LOL Good times were had thats for sure but the BF was scared to death about it all. He thought for sure the whiskey was going to make me explode or something now that I have a band. He even woke up and asked first thing next morning "are u ok?" I was still good ;)
NSV ALERT!!!!! I am a happy woman! I now have to move my steering wheel down to drive :D For a very long time I have kept it up to hide my fat roll under as I drove lol I have always hated being fat and having to buy cars that "have enough room" It was hard for me to fit behind the wheel and actually be able to move the wheel due to my fat roll falling through it. Those days are further behind me as I lose weight. Maybe one day I will buy a car because I like it and not because I can fit in it. WOOT!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I stepped on the scale today and it said 293!! Woot!!
I have noticed a big change since my fill. I AM starting to eat like a normal person should. Ususally me and the BF would order 2 seperate meals and eat all of it. The other night we ordered one meal and 2 soups from our local yummy chinese place. Surprisingly we both got full. I had 1 and a half meatballs, one mushroom, and my won ton soup. I ordered there for lunch today. Ok I more then love the place I am addicted lol. I ate like 4 little peices of generals chicken, 1 crab rangoon, and my soup. WHAT!! REALLY??? That wouldnt even be good enough for an appetizer before this surgery. Now thats my meal? I secretly LOVE IT! Makes me feel like a real person instead of a bottomless pit for junk. Ya I didnt count the calories or bash myself for unhealthy choices. I figure if I eat small amounts and learn that first the rest will fall into place.
I havent had any candy junk since I broke down and ate the reeses egg so I am proud about that. I even got the BF to drink a protein smoothie (made by me) with me. He of course acted like he liked it then promptly drank a little less then half and said he was done lol But I understand why because he is not used to that weird protein taste and I did over do it a bit. Even I could taste the weirdness so he is forgiven ;)
In general I am pretty happy I got this done. The only time I hate it is when I am stuck. And that is usually my fault anyways for not chewing enough. I am getting a better hang of chewing and portions. Well I am off here because the BF is here and wants to play some raving rabbids on the wii. LOL Its too cute! I didnt have much to say just wanted to stop in and say hi and share my new picture I did.
*HUGS TO ALL*
Saturday, March 13, 2010
I am just going to talk about random stuff. You might not want to read cause I am sure there wont be any substance! lol How people who really have to deall with me on a daily basis put up with my random days Ill never know. They look at me alot like an alien sometimes LOL
I was reading through blogs today. Random days come with some major ADD so I got halfway through and my brain switched to wanting to write so I will do this till it switches again. While reading the end of Kristins blog I was dieing laughing. She mentioned a Cadbury Cream Egg. I was not laughing at what she said because it was an awesome NSV for a person who loves them. I was laughing at what a cadbury cream egg MEANS to me. When I was younger I was a stinker. My brother was the calm one who would sit in a corner with a toy for hours being good. I was the one who would play with the toy, break it in less then 5 minutes, then be ready to climb walls again. We are still the same. He is the calm one unless he is mad. I am still the wirey random one who cant stay calm for the life of me. Ok well when we were younger I was never a fan of the eggs (im still not a fan) Well I got one for easter and my crazy child mind didnt want it so it had to go somewhere. The trsh wasnt artistic enough for me. So I chose to smash it in my brothers bed. He likes them so I guess I thought he wouldnt mind. Well he found it along with my step dad at the time and I got the beating of a life time that I will never forget lol. So for YEARS every Easter I get those freaking eggs!! AHHH! But on the plus side since I had this surgery maybe that crazy tradition will end. Well heres to hoping.
Man I cant WAIT for spring to come. I am looking forward to camping! This last year was my first camping trip in the dead of summer and I did pretty good. I also did cold camping this last year which I am not a fan of LOL BRRRRR! Thank goodness I had the heater I call a BF with me and a ton of blankets. But spring is so perfect for camping. We usually have to deal with rain but its ok if its kinda warm. I totaly dig the smell of a campfire!! I love swimming when its warm. I grew up staying with my granny who lived on a lake so I learned to love the water very young. She and my grampa were bass fisherpeople (go me ms pc here today lol) They both were in tournaments and I enjoyed going in the boat. But I can swim to the middle of a lake and back. I love being way out. It is so peaceful. You feel like you are the only person in the world. I use the time to stop and soak in the beauty of the trees and the pillows of clouds in the bright blue sky. It is an amazing experience thats for sure. So I have had a love affair with spring for most of my life lol (ok I just re read this paragraph and it jumps everywhere again Im sorry if your still reading this LOL)
Man I keep getting distracted by music! I dont know whats wrong with me today but everytime I hear a song I want to dance. I really suck at dancing but when Im alone I dont care lol The more I lose weight the more I bop around the house. Im sure I am a sight to see :) Ok I think this is just going to go in a random downward spiral so I am going to stop now LOL!!!