Tuesday, February 23, 2010

bye bye 299

Well ok I was angry at myself today but after reading a certain blog I am not so angry anymore.  I felt like such a loser because I was at 299 the other day and was so happy I called people and wrote people to let them know.  Then that evil little piece of poop gave me the big 305 today!  UGH!  REALLY!!??!!  *enter sad pouty having a childs fit face here*  I wanted to smash the scale into a wall and just sit and cry.  People keep telling me how great I look and I just want to say well tell my tummy that so it will go back down. 

I seriously dont know how I could freakin gain weight.  My tummy has been so crazy I am having a hard time getting much of any thing else down but taters and baby food.  Right now my tummy is growling so loud I am sure the neighbor just looked around his apartment wondering where the strange noises are coming from.  Today I have had an atkins mocha latte shake, a stage 1 jar of bananas, and some bites of some jello sugar free choco mousse.  I am sure by the end of the night ill have some taters and maybe some more bananas or maybe a sugar free pudding cup.  Really?  That is gonna make me fat?  I was losing weight eating 2 cheeseburgers a day 3 weeks before my surgery.  So wtf?  Did I do the wrong thing?  Maybe I should have kept at it by myself.  But I know me way to well in a few months I would have given up completely and went to live at McDs.

I just dont think I have ever felt this frustrated.  I feel like everyone is looking at me and waiting for me to fail AGAIN!  And here I go giving fuel for the fire.  I know that I need to give it time because I am not even or just at 2 weeks out.  Maybe I should just stop looking at the scale.  My first thought (which I stopped) after the 305 was grrr screw it im going to get a freakin cheesburger if I am just going to gain anyways.  That thinking got me to 397 in the first place and I wont let it get me down dammit!  I will fight for my right to be the shrinking fat gurl!  I have been fat all my life and I am so impatient to get to 250 at least.  Id settle for 299 again right now. 

Wow ok that is a pitiful post so I am throwing some good stuff in here.  I got a new LG neon phone yesterday which makes me giddy as a school girl.  It is lime green and white with a slider keyboard :D  I also got a new funny book called "The Vampire Seduction Handbook"  So now I must find a vampire to seduce cause I have the right tools lol.  My mom got me some smelly goods from B&B works mmm Japanese cherry blossom  I got body spray, 2 lotions, and a room spray which tickled me pink.  She also got me a few other small treats like chop sticks, eyeliner (I really needed that I am so close to out and that is the only makeup I wear and I have to cause my eyes dissapear lol), a new buddha incense burner, and some awesome shot glasses.  Have I mentioned how awesome my mom is?  Well SHE IS!  And to pay back her awesomeness I went and helped her out today with a boring senior program job :)  But it was nice cause everyone there is on a diet so I dont feel out of place :D


  1. How frustrating! Since you are eating so little this has to be an abhoration. Maybe it is PMS or something like that. Or maybe your scale is on the fritz. I bet next time you weigh you have a big loss. Keep doing what you've been doing and stay off the scale for a few days.

    I have heard that we shouldn't even weigh ourselves until it is time for the first fill. Things can be pretty screwy in the first few weeks. I know that I actually feel worse this week than I did last as far as pain goes (I had my surgery on 2/12). So take a deep breathe and hang in there! Of all the blogs you've read, have you ever heard of someone NOT losing weight overall? I haven't. This works, but it takes time.

  2. I agree - hang in there!!!

    I've been having similar thoughts as my scales were stuck for about 1 1/2 weeks - stuff the scales my clothes are getting loose!

    Your stomach is still boated from surgery - not a lot of fibre happening at this stage - don't look at the number - you know you are doing all the right things!!!

    take care

  3. You don't have to do anything "wrong" to gain weight... crazy as it seems. Some times a loss is followed by a temporary gain. Sometimes we retain more water. And some times when we are on really low calories (like after surgery) your body thinks you are trying to starve it and responds by holding on to as much as it can.

    I would take a deep breath and just keep sticking to the plan. As you get closer to your goal calories and get a little farther from your surgery date things should level out. If not start measure and journaling everything (if you don't already) and bring it to your followup appointment and ask for suggestions.

  4. I've read this type of thing quite frequently in other blogs, so don't get discouraged. Your body is going through a lot right now - it's basically saying wtf to you! Just let it know that you are in this together - you didn't get the band to punish it and you two will be in sync soon.

  5. You poor girl. You hang in there...soon enough this frustration will be a distant memory and feel free to lean on all of us....you're in good company! Sending hugs your way!

  6. Oh, weight loss doesn't always make sense. It isn't always calories in/calories out, no matter how much people insist on it. I was at the same weight, give or take 3 lbs in each direction for 6 weeks, but I had to get rid of my pants, cause they were falling off of me!

    Just keep getting in protein, try to limit (I'm not saying cut out, just limit) the amount of potatoes and fruit you are eating - try greek yogurt or cottage cheese instead, as they have less sugar/more protein.

    Also, try to get some exercise in, just walking or something. Nothing too strenuous, but the thing with being so heavy, we can burn a lot of calories just doing low key exercise.

    Good luck! Try to look at some other blogs for what they were feeling after surgery - it is frustrating to have gone through everything and still feel like nothing is happening - it won't for a while!

  7. Too funny-I posted almost the exact same WTF weight gain of 4 pounds yesterday less than two weeks from surgery. I just want it gone. Trying to be patient but why won't it just drop. BTW, I nominated you for a BB award and so did Debi from http://hawaiiboundbandster.blogspot.com/ So go have a look and put up your award.

  8. Yep, WAY too early to worry about the scale...you'll be in twoterville for a long time...no hurries. The scale is just one big mystery...can't be explained, but the good part is sometimes it will also go down when you least expect it. Trust what you're doing and get ready for a lot more of those NSV's.

  9. The scale is evil and plays tricks on us. Pay it no mind.
    If it upsets you or puts you in your 'bad place' (that's what I call it) then hide the darn thing and only check it once a week.
    Honestly, they weight WILL come off and you are not doing anything wrong. It's not you, it's your body recovering after surgery. Give it a little time.
    (((HUGS!))) :)

  10. I know its super frustrating when you are doing everythign right and the scale either goes up or stays the same. rememebr you are 2 weeks out from surgery, you dont have restriction yet, when you do you will see the results. Dont be too hard on yourself at this point. You are still recovering from surgery