Wow just got caught up on some blogs and it is so weird. Nothing makes you feel better then to have people going through the same thing. I noticed that there are alot of people in my same place and dealing with the same thing I am. Yesterday I felt like such a loser. Then I read some blogs and with every one I started feeling better and better. The comments and other blogs made me realize I AM NOT alone. And I AM NOT a failure. I have a problem which as led me to where I am now. That is why I have a band. Not because I am not strong enough (even tho Im not lol) but because I have an addiction that I just havent yet got a handle on.I have to remember this takes time. I am not going to wake up tomorrow weighing 250 as much as I want to. Thank you all for making me feel better even when I am a little down in the dumps. For those who commented it means a heap!
TODAY IS MY ONE MONTH BANDIVERSARY!
One month ago today I was getting ready to head into the hospital for surgery. It was a great day!
I have a fill scheduled for the day. Of course that has been on my mind so I have not slept since I got up yesterday. I know it is not going to be too bad (or I hope) My moods and energy level are still bouncing around also. I hope this next month I learn to let some things go. I also hope to learn CHEW CHEW CHEW! I dont know what this fill is going to do for me but I hope it does something. I feel so out of control with "hand to mouth" I am not hungry per se just want to eat out of habit. The same with smoking. I had stopped smoking but now I am back up to half a pack. Maybe once I get further on the LIVE-IT (not die it) I will work more on the smoking thing again. I cant go cold turkey on everything in my life all at one time. Yes I do want to change all the things I dont like about me but maybe I should slow down or I may lose it all.
So I plan from now on to stop and take a breath and relax. If I forget that guys remind me! I am a bit forgetful sometimes and need extra reminders lol So I think I am going to drink a half a pot of coffee and go volunteer at the food bank today. Nothing like the smiley faces of the coworkers and customers to make my smile reappear :)