Thursday, March 11, 2010

Its Been A MONTH!

Wow  just got caught up on some blogs and it is so weird.  Nothing makes you feel better then to have people going through the same thing.  I noticed that there are alot of people in my same place and dealing with the same thing I am.  Yesterday I felt like such a loser.  Then I read some blogs and with every one I started feeling better and better.  The comments and other blogs made me realize I AM NOT alone.  And I AM NOT a failure.  I have a problem which as led me to where I am now.  That is why I have a band.  Not because I am not strong enough (even tho Im not lol) but because I have an addiction that I just havent yet got a handle on.I have to remember this takes time.  I am not going to wake up tomorrow weighing 250 as much as I want to.  Thank you all for making me feel better even when I am a little down in the dumps.  For those who commented it means a heap! 

One month ago today I was getting ready to head into the hospital for surgery.  It was a great day! 

I have a fill scheduled for the day.  Of course that has been on my mind so I have not slept since I got up yesterday.  I know it is not going to be too bad (or I hope)  My moods and energy level are still bouncing around also.  I hope this next month I learn to let some things go.  I also hope to learn CHEW CHEW CHEW!  I dont know what this fill is going to do for me but I hope it does something.  I feel so out of control with "hand to mouth"  I am not hungry per se just want to eat out of habit.  The same with smoking.  I had stopped smoking but now I am back up to half a pack.  Maybe once I get further on the LIVE-IT (not die it)  I will work more on the smoking thing again.  I cant go cold turkey on everything in my life all at one time.  Yes I do want to change all the things I dont like about me but maybe I should slow down or I may lose it all.

So I plan from now on to stop and take a breath and relax.  If I forget that guys remind me!  I am a bit forgetful sometimes and need extra reminders lol  So I think I am going to drink a half a pot of coffee and go volunteer at the food bank today.  Nothing like the smiley faces of the coworkers and customers to make my smile reappear :) 


  1. Just want to tell you to take it easy after the fill and stick to liquids and soft foods. My fill was on Tuesday afternoon and I had a stuck yesterday and also this morning on just a bite of food and it isn't very nice. Good luck. The fill is really really easy and no pain.

  2. Your fill is going to be so easy! They are nothing :) Everyone has blue days, but it will get better.

  3. Give yourself a break about the smoking. Maybe you should focus on one at a time for now. I realize smoking is unhealthy, but you might sabotage your efforts if you try to do too much at once. Can't wait to hear about your fill. It is funny, but I don't feel anywhere near ready for my first. I have a fair ammount of restriction and I want my incisions to be good and healed before anyone goes poking around in there.

  4. Happy one month bandiversary!!!!!