I am having some of the craziest dreams. Last night I kept dreaming my mother was stealing my food. I was very angry at her and didnt understand. It seems like everytime I fall asleep it is something associated with this experience. Has anyone else had this experience? I am thinking about it constantly while awake and now in my sleep too.
18 more days till surgery!
I have been working out at the gym so I can get into a routine before hand. I really like walking on the treadmill. But I am having the worst problem with blisters. My feet feel like they are going to fall off. Not to mention how bad my back aches. I cant wait till I can do it without even thinking about it. I walk a mile or more every time. I feel so akward compared to the skinny people around me that are just truckin on. And I am trying real hard just to keep up to half their speed.
I am also quitting smoking and that is going to be my downfall in the weight department. I have gained in the last 2 months. I have went from 2 packs a day down to like a puff every once in a while. But now my hand wont stay away from my face! I have been snacking like mad. It has a lot to do with smoking and probably a bit of the last minute "I wont be eating this ever again so bye bye" I am changing my life and dont want to come back to the same thing. When I have that surgery I am coming out of the operating room a changed woman! I AM SO SICK OF THIS LIFE! There is a healthy person inside screaming at me to get a hold of myself. For once I think I will listen to her.
Does anyone have plans to do things when they lose weight? I do and I think that will be a blog I do soon. I have been fat all my life and missed out on so many fun things that everyone around me were doing. I plan to live a full life in the years I have left.
Feelings for the day: Been alot of smacking myself in the head when sticking my hand to my lips with things. I wish my mind would just stop wanting things. I can do this!!!! MIND OVER MATTER!!