Thursday, March 11, 2010

Its Been A MONTH!


Wow  just got caught up on some blogs and it is so weird.  Nothing makes you feel better then to have people going through the same thing.  I noticed that there are alot of people in my same place and dealing with the same thing I am.  Yesterday I felt like such a loser.  Then I read some blogs and with every one I started feeling better and better.  The comments and other blogs made me realize I AM NOT alone.  And I AM NOT a failure.  I have a problem which as led me to where I am now.  That is why I have a band.  Not because I am not strong enough (even tho Im not lol) but because I have an addiction that I just havent yet got a handle on.I have to remember this takes time.  I am not going to wake up tomorrow weighing 250 as much as I want to.  Thank you all for making me feel better even when I am a little down in the dumps.  For those who commented it means a heap! 

TODAY IS MY ONE MONTH BANDIVERSARY!
One month ago today I was getting ready to head into the hospital for surgery.  It was a great day! 

I have a fill scheduled for the day.  Of course that has been on my mind so I have not slept since I got up yesterday.  I know it is not going to be too bad (or I hope)  My moods and energy level are still bouncing around also.  I hope this next month I learn to let some things go.  I also hope to learn CHEW CHEW CHEW!  I dont know what this fill is going to do for me but I hope it does something.  I feel so out of control with "hand to mouth"  I am not hungry per se just want to eat out of habit.  The same with smoking.  I had stopped smoking but now I am back up to half a pack.  Maybe once I get further on the LIVE-IT (not die it)  I will work more on the smoking thing again.  I cant go cold turkey on everything in my life all at one time.  Yes I do want to change all the things I dont like about me but maybe I should slow down or I may lose it all.

So I plan from now on to stop and take a breath and relax.  If I forget that guys remind me!  I am a bit forgetful sometimes and need extra reminders lol  So I think I am going to drink a half a pot of coffee and go volunteer at the food bank today.  Nothing like the smiley faces of the coworkers and customers to make my smile reappear :) 

4 comments:

  1. Just want to tell you to take it easy after the fill and stick to liquids and soft foods. My fill was on Tuesday afternoon and I had a stuck yesterday and also this morning on just a bite of food and it isn't very nice. Good luck. The fill is really really easy and no pain.

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  2. Your fill is going to be so easy! They are nothing :) Everyone has blue days, but it will get better.

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  3. Give yourself a break about the smoking. Maybe you should focus on one at a time for now. I realize smoking is unhealthy, but you might sabotage your efforts if you try to do too much at once. Can't wait to hear about your fill. It is funny, but I don't feel anywhere near ready for my first. I have a fair ammount of restriction and I want my incisions to be good and healed before anyone goes poking around in there.

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  4. Happy one month bandiversary!!!!!

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