CATCH 22

I had my first post op appt yesterday and the Dr said I have lost 22 pounds!!!!!!  OMG OMG OMG!  That is awesome!!!  He said he was real proud of me and he thinks I will do great.  I am almost below 300 now.  I havent been below 300 since I was in middle school.  I was 327 when I started the process of getting the band in may.  I was 397 pounds when I graduated High school in 1998.  The 6 months (actually 9 because I messed up) of nutrution classes really seemed to help.  I was not taught proper nutrition growing up.  We were very poor and it was eat what you can get because it may be a day or so till you can eat again.  You would think that would make me a skinny kid but no no.  That started years of hoarding food and scarfing it alone before anyone else could see me eating. 

I decided to clean my house of alot of food when I started the process.  The food I had hidden back would have been enough to feed a family of 4 for at least a month.  I still dont have much money but I am not poor anymore.  I have a no bedroom apartment.  It is a room with a bathroom and kitchen.  I pay my bills and have extra money to spend.  Before starting this every bit of my extra money was spent on fast food and cigarettes. 

As of the 11th of Feb I have taken the band stand.  I was so scared going in for the surgery.  I didnt sleep the night before.  My bf stayed the night and I kept him up all night so he fell asleep before I went into surgery.  But luckily I had my family by my side.  He only slept a few hours then he was up and calling to see how things were going.  They gave me the little blue pill that made me not care at all.  Then they wheeled me back to get the other stuff started then wheeled me on to the surgery room and thats where I loose my memory.  The next thing I know I am waking up in the big white room.  I have to say that is the weirdest part of it all because the last thing you knew you were doing good now your in pain and dont know anyone around.  There was also excitement because a kid just came out of surgery and was freaking out and yanking cords and stuff.  I understood the kids feeling because that was my first thought too.

I then got wheeled back to my room.  I GOT ICE CHIPS!!  OMG they were next to heaven at that point.  They told me to go easy but the cold wetness in my mouth was so wonderful.  Then my family came in and was taking pictures.  I got up and walked to the bathroom and done the business.  Yay I was doing good.  I got home from the hospital and I was feeling awesome.  I sat up and had some broth and watched tv.  My mom done what moms do best and started cleaning lol.  Oh my wonderful virgo mother.  The bf just didnt know what to do and kept asking me if I needed anything. 

The first couple days werent bad but I did have a bottle of liquid loratab so maybe thats why ;)  These last 3 days things have started to get real though.  The hunger has came back with a vengence.  The liquids arent making me feel full anymore.  Today I started on blender food.  I had a whole package of mashed potatoes!  UGH :(  You would think that 22 I posted up there with so much excitement would have mattered a little more but the hunger attack was ravenous.  I mean seriously when am I going to get a hold on this?  I went through surgery to help and I still let it overtake me?  At least I didnt go to mcdonalds and blend a number 4 up in the blender but I feel just as guilty.  In 3 weeks I get my first fill.  I am not sure what a fill is going to feel like.  It wont be much of one but it will show what it is going to be like and what to expect.  I hope this ends up being what I need and not another screw up on my part!